The struggle between nursing home and homecare

 

“Me go to a nursing home? Absolutely not!”

“But Mom, this last fall was serious and we can’t risk another one.  You’ll be able to get therapy there.”

After much reasoning and pleading with her on our part,   “Well  just a little while then”  she agreed.

The therapy would take two weeks.  After two days she cried,  “Take me home.  I want to go home.”

Does this sound  familiar?  We want the best for our parents, yet we cannot stay home to take care of them.  What to do?

Yes.  We took her home.  She now has  24-­?hour homecare.  She never leaves the house, but at 101 she is happy in her own  home with the  gallery of family pictures surrounding her like an army of soldiers, there to protect her.

The caregivers have become her friends.  They bathe and dress her.  They cook, (certainly not as well as SHE did) and keep her  company.  Mom has lost her hearing so the homecare providers have to be her ears.  They are the intermediaries for communication.  So the providers have also become friends with the family. Moreover, home care has given Mom control of her life.

According  to a research study commissioned by Clarity/EAR  Foundation, “Aging in Place in America,”

“Seniors fear loss of  independence and  moving  to  a  nursing  home  more  than they fear death.” http://Aging in place in America

Simply  because  our loved  ones  are  old  and  frail, they do not necessarily want to give up their self  determination  and  their dignity.  Homecare is good for the elderly and a great relief for their family.

We no longer need to feel guilty about their care.

Emma

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